It's kinda disappointing, or frustrating, that I have to choose the way I have refused so far. But that's something necessary, and I can't avoid it. It can't be helped.
It was so difficult to find my way out, so I just started to list up things that I want or need to do. I might complain later, or actually I don't know if it's actually possible, but at least now I know where I should go next.
When it's difficult to decide something, the best thing to do is to find out what you want or need "the most". Of course I need "time" to study, but more than that, I need "money" to study. And I need a "good" way and environment to study.
Actually I'm not so sure if it's really worth the cost, because I don't really know what it's like. But for the past one year I have studied on my own, and I feel like I need more advice, help, guidance or instruction. Maybe I should just give it a try, cos why not?
I hope I can save enough money in time and make living by myself too. :/